'I Want' vs. 'I Should'

Unpacking the word "useful"

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about meditation. The practice is something I do sporadically at best. I’ve had months where I channel my inner Andy Puddicombe daily. Others where my streak is absolutely shot. Over the years, I’ve used the sit-down-with-your-feet-flat-on-the-ground type of meditation randomly, and the running-to-clear-my-mind type — a moving meditation — frequently.

I told him that I want to meditate (the sit down kind) more. For so many reasons, many of which I’ve reported on time and time again. It can reduce stress. Help manage anxiety. Promote better emotional health. Lengthen attention span. Perks on perks on perks.

I’m well aware that one of the best ways to make something a constant practice is to habit stack. Defined, habit stacking is to take a series of small things and create a ritual of them that you follow on a daily basis. Part of the reason that habit stacking works is because the process eliminates the stress of trying to change too many things at once. 

Knowing all of these things, I came clean: “I know. I haven’t made this a priority,” I said. 

“Well, it just sounds like you have other practices that are more useful!”

Useful. Hm. He had a point: I do plenty of useful things during my morning that help me come back to my foundation and find a bit of clarity. Journaling. Gratitude. Breath work. Movement. Not touching my phone for the first 20 to 30 minutes after I wake up. 

It made me think: Do I want to meditate regularly because I want to meditate regularly? Or,  do I feel like I should be meditating regularly because I see other successful people doing it, so I feel a sense of FOMO? Because really, when I think about adding another thing to my morning routine, I feel anxious. Really anxious.

So, is that anxiety useful? For me, not at this very moment. But! Maybe some other time, I’ll be better about learning how to manage it and find a way to incorporate meditation into my schedule. This has also got me thinking: Really, how many things could we pose this exact question about? What are the things in your life that you feel like you should be doing, but don’t actually feel passionate about or inspired by?

… just some food for thought.

PROMPT: What’s one thing you do (or could do) every morning to give back to yourself?