Why Different is OK.

In fact, different can be pretty great.

Yesterday morning I was folding laundry in my bedroom, thinking about this time last year. Life was so different. Different feels like an understatement, really. 

Shortly after I put my sports bras in their designated drawer and miraculously finagled my comforter back inside its duvet, I sat down at my laptop and snuck a look at my 2019 Google calendar. Highlights from this specific week 365 days ago include a hot yoga class at Lyons Den, introducing a friend at their book release party, a 22-mile Saturday long run prepping for Chicago, signing a big contract, a ramen date with a guy that I was seeing at the time, a solo trip to the movies to see Brittany Runs a Marathon, and giving a talk to an amphitheater filled with 500 women. In between all of those to-dos, there were early morning workouts, too many trips to the Rent the Runway flagship store near Union Square, and tons of deadlines.

Life was a lot. 
But life was good.

I’ve always been good at a lot. I’ve prided myself on it, really. I was good at finding some semblance of balance when it felt impossible, and always managed to make time for the people and things that I cared about despite the chaos. For a while over the past six months, I craved this old way.

I craved the hectic days that kicked off with my 5:30 a.m. alarm. 
I craved treadmill sprints.
I craved the slightly disheveled scene the night before an early flight, packing my Away bigger carry-on at 10:45 p.m., then sitting on it to make it zip.
I craved exciting meetings that required me to wear my best athleisure and skirt combo.
I craved in-person recording sessions and slightly uncomfortable amounts of eye contact.
I craved using the Delta app.
I craved hugs and handshakes.

More recently, though, I’ve come to realize that life without the “a lot,” isn’t bad. This year, albeit not being what I had planned, has been big — both personally and professionally. Some of the things that are happening, they wouldn’t be without the shift. 

Connections made. 
Connections lost. 
Work wins.
Work losses.
Boundaries established.
Small wins.
A few large victories. 

Is it all different?
Yeah.
But different isn’t bad.
It’s just that, different.
And lately, different makes me feel pretty lucky. 

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PROMPT: What’s one thing that happened in this month you didn’t expect — but are better for?