The Good Side of Overwhelm

I'm all for finding silver linings. HBU?

When we left off the last time I was talking to you about the mile time trial. Well, it happened, and it went well. Really well! For more on that, listen to Wednesday’s #HURDLEMOMENT episode, where I talk about what it felt to like to finally run a sub-6:00 mile.

But what really stood out to me about last Friday — beyond the actual mile — was how over-the-top loved and appreciated I felt leading up to it, during it, and afterward. On a week-to-week basis, I’m constantly giving to both my IRL (“in real life”) friends and family as well as the Hurdle community. It’s who I am. I love doing it. Showing up for others as much as possible is my love language.

“Acts of service,” I think is the proper term.

In 2020, I’ve felt often like my cup was empty. Likely comes from a whole lot of alone time a la quarantine. For a while there, I started to wonder “when is this all going to come back to me?” I came to understand that I needed to provide happiness for myself, too. Over time, I became less dependent on external sources for comfort or validation, which hasn’t been easy. Lots of self work. Journaling. Reading. Listening. In that process, I’ve noticed that I’ve gradually shifted from a place of expectation and hope in my relationships to gratitude for what is. That shift has enabled me to really, really appreciate when people do show up.

Friday was one of those days. 

Running this mile, first and foremost, was me showing up for me. Me prioritizing my goals and accepting a fair share of opportunity cost to make it happen. While the mile was the culmination of a lot of hard work, athletically, it was also the culmination of a lot of personal work as well. The mile was an example of what happens when I put myself first.

… The fact that my people and community showed up because they knew that this was important to me? I felt overwhelmed in the best way. The event triggered meaningful conversations with friends and family and an emotional response that I wasn’t all that prepared for at all.

I went to a small café after the mile was over with two good friends on Friday morning. Sitting on a small bench sipping a hot coffee, I teared up talking about this. Friday I felt truly connected — both to myself and my goals and to the people I care about. In a year that’s been so full of change and major shifts, people coming and going, Friday felt like a true gift. 

My cup feels full. 

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PROMPT: When was the last time you made it a point to show up for someone you cared about?