2020, you were difficult AF but special in so, so many ways.

We’re finally here: The turn of a new year. Every 365, this is an opportunity for many to get the fresh start that they’ve been itching for, whether it be in the gym (perhaps more appropriately, your living room) or with certain relationships. Hydration habits or reading frequency. Job hunting or focusing more on sleep. (You get the idea.) I for one have for sure been looking forward to this moment after the “dumpster fire” that was 2020.

I know. I know. We’ve been making that joke for a while now, right? If I’m being upfront, though, 2020 was actually pretty great. For me, it was equal parts radically transformative and troublesome. I found many opportunities in the struggle that changed my life for the better. The past 10 months gave me a chance to work on a lot that I’d been putting off, including some of my most important relationships — especially with my own family — which I had put on the back burner at times back when hopping on planes was a part of my regular routine. I found solace in FaceTimes, enjoyment in down time, and definitely worked harder than I ever have before.

That diligent work paid off, though. After a rocky start to the pandemic, in which podcasters everywhere wondered what the future would hold as listens dropped, Hurdle rebounded in a big way. The show that I started producing bi-weekly at the very beginning of 2018 now launches three times each week. As a result, there were 2.25 million downloads of Hurdle in 2020. 

That sentence gives me goosebumps. 

It’s never been about numbers, though. For me, it’s always been about impact. How can I help? How can I encourage someone else to make a move? Believe in themself? Understand that they are worthy of their own investment?

With my morals and ethics as my guide, I pushed through a really tough time — not just with the show, recording 142 episodes remotely throughout 2020 — but with my day to day.

Over the past year, I did things that I never really imagined I’d do. Made Pizza Loves Emily-style pizzas for something like 40 Fridays straight. Did HIIT workouts over Zoom in my living room. Ran a virtual marathon around New York City, and ran it well. Cried while hugging one of my best friends after not having any physical contact for almost three months. Marched in a peaceful protest from the Empire State Building to Union Square. Hung up two bikes in my apartment, and rode one of them for 100 miles the day before running 18. Screamed for joy from my fire escape as the news spread through the streets about our president elect. Gained a face mask collection. Launched virtual courses (Hurdle Sessions) and in the process, found both new ways to connect with my community and donate to causes I believe in, like Black Girls Run and the Loveland Foundation. Learned what “dalgona coffee” is, and whipped it up successfully. Also on that list: Donuts from scratch, short ribs, stuffed clams, cinnamon buns, and an entire roasted chicken.

Yesterday, I wrote in my journal that 2020 for me was a lot like a marathon. There were many times I “hit the wall,” when shit got hard (and dark) throughout this year, but still — I persisted. There was no way I was going to DNF. I’m proud that I never wondered “will I get through this?” but rather “how will I get through this?” — focusing on the things that were in my control when I felt weak. I referred to this as my “hurdle mindset,” yesterday, as I pressed pen to paper. I then stopped and wondered if, one day, that’s what I’ll name my book.

Looking back on the year that was, I’m appreciative.
Thankful.
Grateful.
Excited.
Nervous.

All of these reflections bring me to the past five days on Hurdle, where I was able to bring to the feed some conversations with a lot of great people who also shared in these big feelings. A few of the takeaways that I’d love to share here: 

From Nike Running global head coach Coach Bennett: “Sometimes the In the midst of darkness you can uncover some really beautiful things. The stars don’t come out during the day. I think we can spend some time at the end of the year focusing some attention on what we’re grateful for, thankful for, people, events, and that doesn't mean ignoring the negative - just make sure we don’t ignore the positive.” 

From Peloton instructor Jess Sims: “Remind yourself that you’ve trained for this. This is what you’re built for. This is what you’re here for. In order to build yourself up, you have to break down first. Don’t be afraid of that breakdown.”

From Barre3 founder Sadie Lincoln: ”When you lean into struggle and really hard times with hope and a growth mindset, something really beautiful is on the other side.” 

From Daily Harvest CEO & founder Rachel Drori: “Don’t be so hard on yourself, whether it’s the small win of making your bed, putting on real pants, eating a good breakfast, start small, follow your instincts, and give yourself what you need.” 

From Olympian and 2018 Boston Marathon champ Des Linden: ”Slow down. Be in the moment. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself. And, don’t make it super super serious if it’s not, because there’s always someone else who is dealing with something that’s a little more difficult so have perspective.” 

Thank you, all of you, for keeping up with me this year. It means more to me than I can really justify with words. This morning, I clank my coffee cup (which may or may not be filled with champagne) to yours. We’ve got some big things to do in 2021 (and beyond that, too). I’m looking forward to keeping you in the loop as they happen.

2020: Another hurdle, conquered.

Prompt: What’s one thing you are grateful for from 2020? What’s one thing you’re looking forward to in 2021?