An Expert On Coming Out & Being Your Most Authentic Self
Dr. Crystal Burwell shares important takeaways
I am on cloud nine. I want you to meet Bianca, Michelle, Hope, and Maggie! We had a little hurdlers meet-up in Santa Monica yesterday, and there really aren’t enough words for me to articulate just how much it meant to me. As a creator, I am well aware that my audience has a slew of options. It makes me feel truly blessed that you choose to come back to Hurdle time and time again, and the fact that these ladies wanted to log a few miles with me at 8 a.m. blows my mind. We came together as total strangers but left as friends.
This week in the newsletter, I wanted to share some insights from a conversation I had with Dr. Crystal Burwell. Dr. Burwell is the Director of Outpatient Services at Newport Academy, as well as a licensed psychotherapist. We spoke about the complexities that go hand-in-hand with coming out, a conversation I was hoping to bring to the feed during June — LGBTQ+ pride month (unfortunately, some audio issues prevented that). Fact: Mental health really struggles when you’re not expressing your true self (studies show that coming out can relieve pain and alleviate some symptoms of mental illnesses, like anxiety). Below, check out Burwell’s important takeaways to help navigate this hurdle:
1. Start with someone you really trust: “I would definitely encourage finding someone in your life that you feel like you can trust that’s invested in you and your well being. You want someone who accepts all of you, not just slices. These are hard conversations, and the first person you open up to should be someone you feel truly comfortable with. That will be a good jumping off point for future talks.”
2. Be prepared for questions: “People will have questions, and that's something you can anticipate so that you’re not caught off guard. There are plenty of resources (editor’s note: See below) to help you gauge what they may ask. Remember: We teach people how to treat us. It takes courage to say certain things, but your voice is all you have. Come with confidence, and stay strong.”
3. There’s no deadline: “You don’t have a mandatory timetable for how long it takes you to be open with your friends and family. This is in your total control. This is a decision that is truly yours and yours alone.”
4. Remember: This is YOUR life to live. “You have the right to identify how you identify. Your emotions matter. Don’t minimize yourself for else’s comfort. It can be difficult, but don’t spend your time worrying about how your life choices will affect everyone else.”
A huge thanks to Dr. Burwell for her time! For more information about and mental health resources, click here.